he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
