We won't sleep together?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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