Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I am full of burrito and curiosity
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
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