Small penises have feelings too.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
