woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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