How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
