I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
