Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
