p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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