all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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