I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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