we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
