is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
