I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
