There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
