when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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