So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
