sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
