It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
