I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
