Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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