mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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