At least make sure they are 18
Why
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
