So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
