so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
