I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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