We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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