I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
