i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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