absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
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