Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
