Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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