I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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