ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
