have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
