Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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