im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
