They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
