So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
