I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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