I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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