Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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