You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
