p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
