Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize
