i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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