therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
