I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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