Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
