And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
