I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
