What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
