I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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