Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
How does it feel to date your dad?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
